This entry is three days late *sorry* I really wanted to write up something to post quickly but I just kept getting distracted with things happening in real life, and then all the wonderful New Year shows such as Aratsubo and the VS嵐 special, which I was successfully able to live-stream all the way through ~ yayyy!
But this post was originally intended for Nino and for my 2018 Resolutions. See, I'm getting distracted again...
So, I have to say once more that I am so stonking proud of Nino's amazing job at co-hosting the 68th NHK Kōhaku Uta Gassen. His ability to emcee seems to be completely flawless, like he is just in tune with everyone around him at all times and he knows how to read the atmosphere from moment to moment. He's not overly-dramatic, he doesn't get flustered, but if he or anyone around him does, he covers it with a word of encouragement or a one-liner that instantly breaks the ice. He's just perfect at it, and yes. I love him so much.
As for my resolutions for 2018, it is fairly simple. First of all, I need to increase my conversational Japanese skills. I know loads of basic words and phrases now but listening to a conversation between two or more people still has me in a total daze. After three hours live-streaming Arashi shows last night, I lost concentration and ended up with a headache so I definitely need to learn more, and more, and more....
Secondly, I need to learn to chill a lot more when it comes to social media and friendships in general. 2017 was pretty crappy to be perfectly honest because I lost many of my online friendships. First through Facebook, which I deactivated, and sadly I lost all contact with my writing/genealogy friends. That actually took me totally by surprise because I wrongly assumed they would ask after me. None of them did. Then I lost some pretty significant friendship/relationship interactions with some Arashians. Those hurt me more than I could bear if I'm honest, and it ended nastily as well. Some of their comments to me were harsher than necessary and it almost broke me. At the same time I did pick up some new friendships in 2017, some of which have since either fizzled out or are just "there" quietly brewing in the background.
It is no surprise to those who know me well, I do suffer with depression and anxiety issues. Along with that, I am over-sensitive and I am an over-thinker. Some would think I am almost certainly doomed if I suffer all of that in one go, others politely steer away from me, but those who stay regardless don't know how much I appreciate them and am grateful for their friendship. To those I annoy, I really am sorry. I have warned you in my Twitter bio though, I AM PRONE TO EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS! *lol lol lol*
Lastly, I do need to get my real life in order ONCE AND FOR ALL. I need to get physically and emotionally motivated to make all the necessary changes I need to make so that I can move on with my life and become fully independent. No more dragging my ass, waiting on others to decide for me. I need to finalize my divorce and I need to find a job and my own home. I am determined to make 2018 my year to shine, and to believe that I am worthy of happiness and inner peace. So, let's do this! :)